“off script” by Anonymous

i keep it inside
in a small little box
tucked away
i’m too scared to tear away at the wrapping paper
the paper lined with rape jokes and sluts and whores that have been so carefully placed there by my friends
i don’t want to open it
i don’t want to overreact
i want to take a joke
i don’t want to be annoying
so i keep it inside the box
i don’t want to stand up
i don’t want to cause a scene
i walk down the street
a hand
forms a skirt around me and i
i turn and i slap
and i wait and breathe and watch
the wave of reassurance rushing over me
the satisfaction
that i can stand up and i can open the box
let the creature rise, a whale breeching for air
as long as no one i know
is there to see it
but once i’m sitting in the room
with the red cups and the damp couch and the saliva stretching from the two kids mouths which is the
only thing they have in common
i overhear the conversation about the length of her skirt
slut bitch whore
i overhear fuck her so hard
hot tits ass
i overhear the jokes and the laughter like the shower running over your head and drowning your ears so you can’t hear anything else
and all i can do is sit there
and pull down my skirt
and roll my eyes, a smile stretching across my face, and laugh
cause i don’t want
to say anything
scared i’ll go off script
i don’t want to stand up
scared someone else will take my place

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